Relish the Memories

Growing up, I was very lucky to have all my grandparents alive and involved in my life.  Because of this, I would spend countless hours at their houses making memories. 

At one set of grandparents' house, I always did crafts, exercised, sang, and played "pretend" outside.  At another grandparents' house, I learned to shoot pool.  And, at the other grandparents' house, I learned to cook, rode my bike around the neighborhood, and explored the trails in the woods next to the neighborhood.  Each of these adventures taught me life lessons even if it was as simple as learning to be responsible off on my own.  As I look back now, I realize some of my friends were not as blessed to be able to have their grandparents as active in their lives to help create these wonderful childhood memories.

Yesterday, as a mom of a (soon to be) eight year old and a six year old, I realized something else!  My grandma (my children's GREAT-grandma) has been keeping my kids while I finish at work for this school year.  As I picked my children up yesterday, I couldn't help but notice how sweaty and dirty they were (we're talking dirt behind the ears and in between the toes dirty).  Obviously, they had played extremely hard out in the hot June sun.

In the car on the way home, I began to smile and almost tear up as I listened to my children tell me about their adventures at Maw's house that day.  They described riding their bikes "many miles" around the neighborhood.  They detailed every mud hole they created and dirt pile they built.  However, my favorite story they illustrated was that of going thru the trails in the woods with their neighborhood friends - the same trails and woods I grew up playing in. (As a matter of fact, today they told me about seeing "Big Foot" in the woods!  Too funny!)

I'll be honest...  these days it scares me to think of how easy it would be for someone to take off with my children as they're out playing in the neighborhood.  On the other hand, I cherish the fact that my kids are getting to be real kids making memories the same way I did as a child.  Instead of worrying about my kids exploring new adventures in the neighborhood and woods, I decided to relish the memories. 

I listened to my kids characterizing every little detail of their adventures for the day, and it brought back all the memories of the same adventures I had experienced there as a child.  It made me realize several things:

1) I need to let my kids be kids more often,
2) How lucky I was to grow up making those memories at my grandparents' house(s),
3) How lucky my kids are to have their GREAT-grandparents still alive and involved in their lives, and
4) More than anything, how fortunate my kids are to be making these wonderful memories in the same "old-fashioned" way I did.

Overall, I feel truly blessed to know that my kids are not just sitting in front of a TV, computer screen, or a digital game all day.  Not that there's anything wrong with technology, but I feel that too many kids aren't getting to experience a real childhood due to these things.  Luckily, my kids are being REAL (old-school) kids making childhood memories outside, and I hope one day they'll relish the memories as much as I do!

To end this post, I thought I'd leave you a couple of pictures of the kids being REAL kids this past Easter.  Nothing shows a fun childhood like a tire swing and trying to climb a tree!  Enjoy!

 

Fitting for Today

**I wrote this almost a year ago after having a really bad day at work.  Today was another one of those days, so I thought it only fitting to re-read my note I wrote last year to remind myself of some things.  Hope you enjoy!**

Keep Singing

by Crystal Jeffirs Binning on Facebook on Wednesday, February 23, 2011 at 7:32pm

To begin with, I'm not one to post "notes" on Facebook, but today I've felt the calling to write.  Honestly, I feel like God has truly led me to this message and it needs to be shared publicly.  I'm sure I'm not the only one with this emotion right now, so hopefully this "note" will help someone else in the process.  And, if you read this and don't like it, then that's fine as well.  However, I thought you should know that today I've had an awakening!

In the past year and a half my relationship with God has grown more than I could have ever imagined.  Don't get me wrong!  I'm not saying I'm perfect by far.  I still make mistakes and sin like most everyone.  However, I have changed!  It desperately convicts me to know when I've sinned which has led me to steer away from most negative aspects in my life.  I'm tired of being around those that bring me down.  I'm tired of useless drama.  Therefore, I have decided that it's time to put my priorites in order and realize that my purpose on Earth is to praise God and give Him thanks for what He has blessed me with.

Because of this awakening in the past year and a half, I've also noticed that the ways of this world are really beginning to bother me as well.  To put it bluntly, I can't wait to leave this world!  It saddens my heart to see how much our world has gone downhill just since I was a child.  It also saddens me to think of what it will be like for my children.  Not only is there violence and disease plaguing our world, but where have our Christian values gone?  What happened to marriages lasting?  What happened to raising your children in church and teaching them right from wrong?  What has happened to teaching manners in our society and actually using them?

All of these "issues" have really been pressing on my heart and mind here lately.  And, who knows...maybe it's because I'm a teacher who in the last 6 years of teaching has seen a depressing decline in today's youth and their morals/values.  Or, maybe it's God's way of reaching me and showing me that I am a Christian role model for these students and I have a higher purpose in their lives besides just being an educator.  Sometimes I wonder if school and the teachers are the only stable thing in some of these kids' lives.  What an honor God has given me to be a part of influencing them and guiding them.  I'm not saying that I "preach" to my students in class.  We all know that's against the law!  What I am saying, however, is that I can only hope my actions and words are enough to show them that there is more to life than what they sometimes see.  And, I hope they realize that it's okay to go against the corrupt "norms" of the world today.  There's nothing wrong with standing up for what's right, for being respectful, and for being a leader.  What I hope they realize is that the things of this Earthly world are temporary and do not matter.  What matters is how they lived their life towards pleasing God and where they will spend their eternity.

Most of us today could think of numerous family members, friends, etc. who are truly hurting.  Whether it be marriage issues, financial struggles, abuse, or health issues, there are not many who aren't needing our prayers.  Today, I had a really stressful day at work.  As I was wallowing in my self-pity on the way home, a song came on called "Keep Singing" by Mercy Me.  This song literally brought me to tears driving down the road in front of my own children.  This song awakened me more than I could have imagined a song could do.  Even though it was on my USB drive in my car, today was the first time I had heard it.  (If you haven't heard this song, I highly recommend you looking it up.)

Regardless, I wanted to make it known what God opened my eyes to see today:  No matter what struggles in life we may be going through, the only way to keep on surviving is to praise His name.  There's NO other answer but God.  He has a plan for all of us, and He will take care of us!

Like I mentioned earlier in this "note" (which has now turned into an essay it seems), our world is in constant chaos right now.  However, I'm going to continue singing God's praises, and I hope you will as well.  I can't wait to go home to see Him.  Each day I wonder if it will be my last.  Will I get to meet my Heavely Father soon?  Will I die first or will the rapture take place?  Either way, I can't wait to spend eternity in Heaven knowing there will be no more pain or tears from this world.  My question for you, though, is will you keep singing His praises?  Will you be ready to go home to see Him?  I know I will, and I hope you will too.  So, my challenge to each of you is to "Keep Singing!"

Because of the amazing impact this song made on me today, I've listed the lyrics below:

"Keep Singing" by MercyMe

Another rainy day
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
All I feel is pain
All I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move
When I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through

I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
You're the one who's keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
That's the only way that I'll find healing

Can I climb up in Your lap?
I don't wanna leave
Jesus, sing over me
I gotta keep singing

Can I climb up in Your lap?
I don't wanna leave
Jesus, sing over me
I gotta keep singing

Oh, You're everything I need
And I gotta keep singing

To Be Me or Not...That is the Question!

The average expectations of a woman in today's society is a little different than fifty years ago.  It used to be the norm for a woman to be a stay-at-home mom and wife who only took care of the domestic duties.  However, many things change in fifty years.  Today, the majority of women in the United States are working outside of their homes and still trying to raise a family.  All the while, we as women are expected to be as feminine, beautiful, and perfect as ever.  This is where I get frustrated, and because of that this blog post is presented.

I am a wife and mother.  I've been married for 9 years, am a mother of two very active children, I work full time as a teacher, and I'm going back to graduate school.  Needless to say, my life is a little chaotic.  I don't fit the typical "June Cleaver" profile, but I do try my best at everything I do.  Because my life consists of running from here to there and back to here, I usually don't spend too much time on myself. 

Growing up, I never thought about who I truly was on the inside.  Instead, I always tried to be what was expected of me:  a pretty, girly-girl.  Now, as I'm older and am truly finding myself, I have come to terms with not being what society expects me to be.  I am me and only me!  I'll never be the perfect model!  This realization used to bother me when I confronted it, but now I say, "Who cares?"

I have determined that I am much more of a "tom-boy" than a "girly-girl!"  Don't get me wrong.  I still like to get dressed up and look nice at times, but for the most part I'm just a good ol' country girl.

I want to wear my jeans, t-shirts and flip-flops.  I want to watch baseball and go ride four-wheelers.  I want to hang out at home playing in the yard, rough-housing, so to speak! 

I've often told my husband that if he wanted a girly-girl, then he's married the wrong person.  Most women would love to get a manicure, pedicure, massage, etc. for their birthday.  Me...well, I'd be perfectly happy with getting tickets to a baseball game!  I'd much rather spend my day out at the ball park than in a mall, etc. 

I know some of you are thinking, "Wow!  She's not who I thought she was!"  And, you know what... that's okay!  I'm good with that.  I don't want to be who you or anyone else think I am.  I just want to be me.  I don't want to be uncomfortable at some silly girly-get-together because it's expected of me. 

I've decided I'm not doing anything that I don't want to do anymore.  Who cares if society says I have to be the perfect feminine role model?  I think God would be more pleased with me if I'm being true to myself and just living my life for Him.

Therefore, from here on out, that's what I'm doing.  Yes, you'll still see me dressed up for work and church.  But, I can promise on the weekends and at home, you'll see me being me.  Yes that's right.  It means jeans, t-shirts/hoodies, flip-flops/tennis shoes, just a little makeup, and hair in a pony-tail.  What's wrong with being both a typical girl and a not-so-typical girl?

No more questioning who I want to be, because I've decided to be the real me!  (I hope you can accept that!)  I'll leave you with pictures which show both the real me's:  the silly goofy "tom-boy" and the "girly girl!"  Enjoy! 

--Crystal     :)

2011 Summer Memories

Wow!  As there are two weeks left of Summer 2011, I am realizing that a lot has happened in such a short amount of time.  It has definitely been an exhilarating ride!  It's had it's ups, and it's had it's downs.  To prove my point, follow along as I flashback.

When school let out the second week of June, the kids and I couldn't have been happier!  We were so ready for a break and in just a few days it was going to be Carter's 7th birthday.  Carter celebrated his birthday at home on his actual day because it was our 9th anniversary as well.  We just enjoyed being at home (with nothing that we HAD to do), enjoyed just spending family time together.

That Friday night, we had Matt's parents over for dinner.  While we were playing a board game in the kitchen, the kids were playing in the living room - just being kids!  Carter was doing his normal running across the living room and jumping on the couch to sit down.  However, this night it was a little different!  His left hand hit the couch and pushed his pinky out to the sit, thus breaking it.  We took him to the ER where they confirmed the break, set it, splint it, and told us to go see an orthopedic specialist the next Thursday to see if it would require a hard cast or surgery because the break was at the growth plate. This was not the plan of how we wanted to spend our summer, but God showed He had other plans.

 (The broken pinky)

 (Right after having his pinky "set" and wrapped in the splint)

(The x-ray of the break - hard to see the break from the pic)

We finally were able to get home in the middle of the night and rest for a few hours.  Then, we had to get up to get ready for Carter's birthday party at the skating rink.  Of course, since he broke his pinky, he was not allowed to skate - he could only play games.  He was a little disappointed (and was still hurting), but the Loritab he was on for pain helped to ease everything.  I still think he had a great party!  He had many friends and family there that helped to make it very special!

 (Daddy trying to help Carter have fun at his party!)

 (Giving the thumbs up that he was happy and having fun!)

Luckily, my boss (at the time) and his wife went to church with us.  She works at an orthopedic specialist's office.  When we saw them at church that Sunday, we were able to get Carter straight in to see the doctor on Monday.  This was truly a God thing, because when we got into his office on Monday morning, they took off his splint and found that Carter's index finger was pushed under his middle finger.  Not only was this a concern, but the splint had been on too tightly and was putting too much pressure on his index finger cutting off circulation since the past Friday night (3 days)!  We were terrified because it looked as if he was going to lose his finger!  Carter was in instant relief, however, and he was happy to have it off.

(This shows the damage from the circulation being cut off and how sunk in his skin was. This pic is directly after the splint came off in the orthopedic specialist's office. Come to find out it's what they call a pressure wound.)

 (One of the bad days of his pressure wound!)

This was the beginning of a long drawn out ordeal with Carter's injury.  Those of you who are close to us know the situation.  Others...well, here's the basics:  Circulation was cut off in that index finger.  The broken pinky was no longer a major concern.  Within two days, an infection set into Carter's finger and hand, so we took him to Children's Hospital in Little Rock. We started antibiotics, continued our weekly followups with the orthopedic specialist, and started therapy.  After three weeks of therapy and a month and a half after the injury, today Carter finished therapy.  He still doesn't have full strength back in his left hand, but the therapist is hopeful that it will return.  We go back to his orthopedic specialist on Monday.  (I still don't think we're completely finished with doctor visits for a while, but we'll see!)


In the process of everything going on with Carter's injury, God was closing and opening more doors for my family.  The week after Carter's injury, I was called for an interview with another local school district.  I had been very unhappy for a while at my current position and felt I needed a change - something to make me excited about teaching again!  However, I told Matt that God would definitely have to give me a sign that this new school district was where he wanted me.  And, oh my goodness, did God ever show me!  The job was the exact position I had always wanted to have, less stress, no TAKS pressure, etc.  After thoroughly debating the decision (because I hated leaving my drill team girls at my current school), I finally decided that this was a chance I couldn't pass up.  If I was going to be happier with this job, then it would make it better for my whole family.  I could be a "fun" mom and wife again instead of just someone who was working day and night stressed.  Within a month after taking the new job, I was able to move into my new classroom and start preparing this past weekend.  I'm super excited and know that God has great things in store for me and my family.

 (View of the front of my classroom)

 (My AWESOME desk!)

(Another view of the classroom)

One great thing that did come out of this summer, was our vacation!  It wasn't anything super extravagant (no Disney or anything super expensive), but it was great for us.  The kids had a ball and we spent a lot of valuable family time together which is all that matters anyways.

We went to Ft. Worth to the zoo on our first day.  The kids loved seeing the animals even though it was 107 degrees outside!

Then on the second day, we met up with our good friends, the Beerley's, at Grapevine Mills Mall.  There, we took all four of our kids to LegoLand.  I think this was our kids' favorite time of vacation.  They especially loved playing with their friends, and Matt and I were just as excited to see our friends!  Ha!  We feel truly blessed to have them in our lives.  Matt and I have never had such great friends who we feel completely close to and that we have so much in common with.  Again, it was all a part of God's plan!

 (Carter and his buddy, Andrew)

(Landry with sweet Anna)

Our third day of vacation began with Carter's eye appointment (which went perfectly), and it ended with us going to the Science Museum and driving back home.  Overall, the kids had a blast and said it was their favorite vacation ever!

(All three of my babies as we left to head home from vacation!)

Other great things that happened this summer were going to the Texas Rangers game against the Orioles on July 4th, and the kids making it on TV with the "Will Trade Parents for Season Tickets" sign.

 (Aren't they too cute?)

Then, after months of having a loose tooth, Carter lost his first tooth.  And, within a week of losing the first one, he lost his second one.  Now we just call him "Snaggle-Tooth," which he hates!  

 (Lost his first tooth!)

(Lost his second tooth!  You can see the permanent tooth already coming up from the first tooth he lost!)

Although this summer has pretty much come and gone, we had many memorable events.  I definitely believe God has shown us a lot just in this summer, and I'm exciting about the new chapter of life He's opening for our family.  I can't think of any way better to describe our summer except with some of the lyrics from the song that inspired the title of my blog:

The struggles makes me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of taking' its sweet time

No, life ain't always beautiful
But I know I'll be fine
Hey, life ain't always beautiful
But its a beautiful ride!

Love you all!

Crystal

Preview to my book: Overcoming Miss Piggy

*For those of you who don't know, I decided to attempt writing a memoir.  I started it a year ago, and have only written two chapters.  This book is a very emotional piece for me to write because I don't want to step on anyone's toes.  Currently, I'm stuck on whether or not to finish it.  That's where you come in...  I've posted the "Prologue" below that will help readers understand somewhat of the purpose of me writing it - to vent basically as therapy.  So, read and enjoy, and then let me know what you think!!*

 PROLOGUE

What truly makes a person who they are?  How do they obtain their personal identity? 

Do they become who they are because of how they believe?  Because of how they were raised?  Or because of the influences in their lives? 

Does a person become who they are because it is what they want or because it is what someone else wants them to be?

Think about yourself. 

When you were a young child did you plan on being who you are today?  Did your parents influence your dreams for life?  Or, maybe it was your family or friends.

Each of us becomes who we are for one of these reasons.  Maybe we were told at a young age that we would were very good at drawing, therefore, leading us to become an artist or an architect.  Maybe we were told we were compassionate and good with children, thus, causing us to think we should become a teacher.  Maybe we were told we were good with tools, medical terminology, arguing, or questions which in turn influenced us to become mechanics, doctors, lawyers, or journalists.

Not only can what we are told at a young age manipulate us into something for the good of our life, but it can sometimes cause a negative affect.  This has been the case in my life.

Do not get me wrong.  I have had a very good life.  I was always taken care of, given what was needed to survive and be spoiled, and I was even encouraged to follow my dreams for my future.  Everyone had faith that I would become who or what I wanted to become.

However, from an early age I was told different things about myself from family, friends, and classmates that would change who I was on the inside for the rest of my life.  Although these people never realized what they said to me was making a negative impact, these comments eventually began to haunt my life and alter my personal image of myself.

There are not many life changing experiences that I do not associate with the joking words of these people who did not realize that I was taking to heart what they said.  Due to their thoughts, opinions, and insulting comments (at times) of me, I have lived a life where I felt I was not good enough. 

Yes, I knew my family and friends loved and cared about me, but because of the things said to me I always felt like a disappointment.  I was always encouraged to become who I wanted to be, but I never understood how I could reach my full potential when I was not thought to be the perfect person everyone expected me to be. 

As a result of the way my family and friends thought and talked about me, I knew they believed me to be smart and able to succeed in life.  However, I never felt like I was good enough for them or able to be fully accepted. 

These comments said in a nonchalant way to me were to become the influences for shaping my life and the way I lived it.  These comments were to become my personal identity.  For that reason, it is fair for me to say that I became the person I have been because of believing what others have told me I was instead of what I truly believed about myself.

If is for these reasons, that I have written this book.  It has taken me 27 years to go beyond what everyone has told me that I am and finally realize what I really am.  This has been a long, winding road that has had many ups and downs of a hill that I have had to travel.  Nevertheless, I have been lucky enough to find my true self before the majority of my life was spent living up to everyone else’s expectations. 

Some people are not as lucky as I have been to realize this.  Some go on living and being what everyone else has pressured them into becoming.  This is a very sad life to live.  Trust me, I know.  I have been through it.  I have felt like a disappointment to my family and friends for the greater part of my life. 

However, that is all over now.  My real journey in life is now beginning because I have finally found myself.  I am who I am today because it is who I want to be!

It is You...

After going to a writing workshop today, I was thoroughly encouraged to pick back up with my writings.  We were asked to write a memory poem, and I did get a little done at the workshop on it.  Once I got home this afternoon, something kept tugging at my heart telling me to write more.  Several hours later, and this is what I ended up with (sorry for the length)!   Hope you enjoy!

It Is You

Walking through the tall door
Into the Physical Science classroom,
There were strangers seated before me.

Everyone stared at me-
This red-headed, freckled face freshman
Entering apprehensively.

I wan't sure where to sit,
What to say,
Or what to do.

A dark-haired boy
With a charcoal gray shirt
And grease stained pants
Finally smiled and welcomed me.

It was you...

Anxiously fumbling with my clothes, hair, and makeup,
I awaited the sound of the loud exhaust of the pickup
To confirm the time to leave.

Music blaring
And wind blowing my carefully fixed hair,
I wondered in fear how this first date would go.

Would we have anything to talk about?
How would I eat pasta without making a mess of myself?

The dark-haired boy
In his button up shirt, jeans, and Van shoes
Now sat at the dinner table in front of me.
He smiled and joked around
To ease my nerves.

It was you...

Ten months of dinners, movies,
Road trips, family get-togethers, laughter,
And intense late night talks.

Ten months of anticipation
Every time I would hear the pickup
Getting closer and closer to my house.

One warm, calm, late summer night
At the lookout point on the lake.
The dark-haired boy
In his tee shirt and pants
Dropped to his knee and proposed.

My thoughts ran wild,
Butterflies fluttered around in my stomach,
But one look at him
And I knew I couldn't imagine one day
Without those brown-speckled blue eyes
Staring back at me.

It was you...

Chaos everywhere at the church.
Girls cluttered in the fellowship hall.
Boys in the Sunday school room.
Everyone wearing proud, enthusiastic smiles.

I, in my white pearl and rhinestoned gown,
Met with my father and exchanged a bittersweet hug.
The entrance of the church's transformed sanctuary
Now looked like a lit up Heavenly garden.

The time to begin a new phase of life had come.
Smiling, laughing, and crying
From the hesitant feelings in my mind,
I saw the boy at the end of the aisle.

Except now, he was a man
Dressed in his tuxedo and Doc Marten boots.
He gave a slight smile of approval and amazement
And reassured the reason we were brought together.
He made my heart beam with sunshine!

It was you...

Every five minutes,
I would contract in pain.
Scared and in denial of what was happening,
I put on a brave face as we sat in the dreary hospital room.

For both of my children's births,
There were plenty of eager family members
Awaiting the arrival of that precious creation.

Shaking, cringing,
Breathing calmly, and bearing the pain,
I felt entangled with mixed emotions
At the thought of being a new mother.

Each time, I looked over
To that dark-haired man
Still in his tee shirt and jeans.
His rough, calloused hands held mine
As he gently graced my forehead with a kiss.
His presence eased my worries.

It was you...

Bad days at work,
Deadlines to meet,
Finances to manage.

Children crying,
Demanding attention,
Ball practice,
And dance lessons.

The hustle and bustle of my everyday life.
The stress gets overwhelming at times,
And I crumble in panicky alarm and fear
Of not knowing how to keep it all balanced.

The dark-haired man
In his unfailing tee shirt and jeans
Reaches out to embrace me
With his tan, strong arms.
His comforting and supportive touch
Is my security that alleviates all the uncertainties of life.

It is you...

And, without you, I wouldn't be me!

Crystal

My Baby Turned 5

**WARNING - Minor details about giving birth are included.  Nothing that should gross you out too bad, though! **



In March of 2006, I never would have thought that my baby girl would have been born early.  However, four and a half weeks before her due date, Landry decided it was time to make her appearance. 

It was a Wednesday morning, March 22nd to be exact.  I had gone to the doctor the past Friday and found out I was already beginning to dialate, so my instructions were to take it easy.  When I woke up on Tuesday, March 22nd, and began getting myself and Carter dressed and ready for a relaxing day at home, I realized something wasn't right.  Matt was at work and I was at home trying my best to manuever through contractions and taking care of an energetic 21 month old little boy. 

The contractions began getting closer and closer until finally I couldn't make it five minutes without another hitting.  I called my doctor and she told me to go to the hospital to be monitored.  Our plan was that when I went into labor, Matt would come get me, we'd take Carter to his parents' house, and then go to the hospital.  However, at this moment in time, Matt was at work and his mom was grocery shopping. Therefore, Matt left Texarkana, rushed out to Maud to pick me and Carter up to go to the hospital knowing that a second birth went a lot faster than the first.  We were just hoping we'd make it to the hospital without her being born!  Meanwhile, Matt's mother had been at TexasWalMart grocery shopping.  She had to abandon her full grocery cart to meet us at the hospital in order to watch Carter. 

By the time we arrived at the hospital, Matt's mom had met us there and my mom was on her way.  I was barely able to stand up at the time due to the contractions, but I tried not to let the pain show because I didn't want to scare Carter (who was oblivious to it all the best I can remember)!  After finally getting to a room and hooked up to monitors around 11 a.m., the nurse confirmed that I wasn't making much progress so once the doctor came by to examine me and take a look I would probably be sent home.  I was so embarrassed!  How could I not know what real labor was when this was my second pregnancy?

When my doctor did arrive at 1:00 or so, she came in examined me and said I had dialated a little more and she wanted to watch me for a little bit longer.  She never let on that she thought there was a problem, but little did we know there was.  At 2:00, she came in again and calmly told us that everytime I contracted the baby's heart rate was dropping which probably meant the cord was wrapped around her neck.  Instead of giving me medicine to stop my contractions so I could go home, she was going to give me the Petocin (sp?) in order to induce me into full labor.  They began the Petocin, ran a bag of IV fluids through me, and at 2:45 broke my water.  From then on out, it went by very quickly.  All I remember are INTENSE contractions and the doctor and nurses continually coming by to check on me and the baby. 

By the time I was dialated to a 5, I had the option of getting an epidural.  Of course with the pain I was already in, I opted for getting it!  However, after two attempts at an epidural (and it was now 4:00), apparently there was another hitch in the road:  I had too much scar tissue in my lower back from previous spinal taps and the epidural with Carter, so this epidural couldn't get past the scar tissue to work properly.  So, on top of being scared that my baby girl was inside me with the cord around her neck, I now was also terrified that I'd have to feel EVERYTHING during labor.  I was not a happy camper!!  One of my nurses was a lady we went to church with at the time, and I just continued to tell her the following:  "If I say any ugly words or anything I might regret, please don't tell anyone!!" 

Luckily, my doctor knew how I didn't like pain and that I was literally scared to death, so she made sure to give me some Staydol (sp?).  This was a medicine that pretty much made me loopy to where I wasn't aware of what was really going on.  Finally, at 5:45, I had dialated to a 7, but they were going to try to do the epidural ONE last time - no other chances after this.  When I sat up for the injection, like I said, I was dialated to a 7.  When I laid back after the epidural, I was at a 10 and my baby was beginning to crown.  It was crazy and I was STILL in pain!  The nurses were scared because my doctor had headed to take her son to Wednesday night church services!  The nurses began to panic and told me not to move or push because the baby would probably come out. 

At this moment in time, the Staydol began to work really well.  I don't remember much from this point on, but according to Matt, his mom, and my mom, I was pretty hilarious.  I continued to ask them to push the epidural button to give me more pain meds even though I wasn't aware that I was hurting anymore.  Then at one point, I apparently told Matt that I felt the baby come out and he needed to lift the covers to find her.  And, yes, I wouldn't settle down until he actually looked to make sure she wasn't just sitting on the sheets between my legs.  LOL!  Once my doctor arrived, I apparently embarrassed myself again, when I told her she needed to change clothes because she was still in her street clothes.  Wow!  So, glad I had the excuse of being "doped" up instead of this being my normal state of mind.

The next thing I knew, I had a beautiful baby girl in my arms and I was crying while Matt was kissing my forehead.  I don't remember pushing, I don't remember hurting.  God took care of everything and then allowed me to enjoy the bonding experience after she was born!   Of course, when I was really able to see my baby girl, Landry, she had such dark hair and it was very curly that I kept insisting to Matt that I promised she was his!  (Not sure why I did this, because obviously if you know Matt, dark hair is a family gene!)

Well, after all the long drama of that day, Landry was officially here on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 at 6:52 p.m.  She weighed 7 lbs. 7 oz. and was 20 inches long.  Even though she didn't look like what I had anticipated, I could not have asked for a more beautiful baby girl!  We were so proud, as was her new big borther, Carter!

(A picture of that curly black hair)

(My first time to hold her)

(Matt's first time with his little girl)

(Carter meeting his little sister for the first time)



It is so hard to believe that five years has flown by this quickly.  It amazes me at how fast she has grown and matured.  Yes, she's VERY independent, which is challenging at times (like tonight when she refused to eat dinner). 



Yes, we have had and continue to sometimes have many dramatic melt-downs.  However, it's the moments of me getting to witness her character growth and maturity that make all the tough times with her worth while.  She is absolutely a smart child who loves to entertain, give help and love to others, and who is already a leader amongst her peers.  I cannot wait to see what the future has in store for my Landry-bug!  Without her birth, I know that our life would not have been such a beautiful ride! 

To end this blog, I've posted several pics from her birth through her first year!  By the way, I'm not sure why some of these are turned the wrong way.  I coudn't figure out how to fix them!  Sorry!  Also, most of these are pics of pics, so that's why they're not the best quality! 

Enjoy!

(Her hospital picture - not sure why this is turned the wrong way)

(Her birth announcement)



(Her bedding in the nursery)

(More of her nursery)

(She hated bath time - one of her first melt downs)

(Her first Easter!  How tiny!)

(Relaxing in Daddy's arms one night)

(Carter holding her on her first Easter)

(Sleeping in her swing)



(Another one of her meltdowns)

(More of the nursery)

(Nursery again)

(About 8 months old...wild hair!)

(10 months old...bubble baby)

(11 months old...wild hair again)

(1st birthday party with Daddy)

(Had just learned to walk the week of her 1st birthday)

(Her "big" cake for 1st birthday party)

Crystal



Demolition Derby Doesn't Have Anything on Dairy Queen

In my lifetime, I've been to my share of demolition derbies.  Yes, mainly from when I was younger and not in recent years, but I cannot imagine that they've changed that much.  So, let's think back to what you usually see at a demolition derby:  1) rednecks, 2) screaming, 3) loud cars with no exhaust, 4) cars/trucks running into each other for no reason, and 5) did I mention people who just don't know how to act socially (oh yeah, I already said rednecks)!

Most people who need a good laugh or simply need some type of entertainment go to the demolition derbies.  Well, there is no need for that!  Because the demolition derbies in Texarkana have nothing on the local Dairy Queen in our neighborhood.  Yesterday, on a rare treat (Matt was off work and home with us), we took the kids to get ice cream at Dairy Queen.  We thought we'd have some nice family time while enjoying our M&M Blizzards and Dipped Cones. 

Little did we know that when we chose to sit outside that we'd be in for some entertainment. 

After Landry picked us out a picnic table to sit at, we began eating our ice cream and visiting like normal.  However, it didn't take long to see that this Dairy Queen visit was not going to be like most others.  Within five minutes, we saw a redneck family walking out with a crying/screaming baby and their two little girls had on light up jelly shoes.  (Come on now...isn't that from the 80s??  Yes, people keep telling me the 80s are coming back in style, but I'm struggling with that!  ::And, if you or you're child or someone you know has these shoes, I apologize.  I have no hard feelings toward you; it's just not my particular taste!::  )  

Okay, so that was the first of the entertainment.  Secondly, there was a middle-aged man sitting at another table near us that apparently liked to talk to himself.  He had a WalMart bag sitting on the table along with the local newspaper.  He would read for a minute and then randomly start talking outloud.  I never could understand what he was saying, but he was definitely entertaining and animated!  (Yes, judge me again as I judge myself for judging him.  I know it's not the best thing to do because he probably had some type of disability, but he definitely made my afternoon by reminding myself of how lucky I am!)

Now, if that wasn't enough entertainment, our picnic table was near the drive-thru.  There was a man around my age that was at the drive-thru window getting ready to pay for his order, when out of no where he gets rear-ended by an elderly woman.  Wow!  I'm not even sure she knew what she had done until he managed to get out of his truck and check to see if there was any damage done.  He informed her that everything was okay, and she simply apologized once and went on like it was no big deal!  Matt and I just laughed; our kids were oblivious to all of this.  How nice it would be to be so innocent again!  :)

We were then finishing up our ice cream and getting ready to leave when a repairman was backing up to pull out.  He literally came within a quarter of an inch from backing into a van behind him.  Matt and I were just so tense waiting to see which demoliton derby entry was going to be the winner.  Who would have thought that Dairy Queen could put on this kind of show??

All of this made for a wonderful afternoon, but we considered ourselves pretty lucky to just go to DQ and be able to actually get what we ordered.  Typically, when we go they are at least out of one thing we order:  M&M's, Dr. Pepper, hot fudge, etc.  It never fails!  That's a long standing joke in our household as well.  If one of us goes on a "DQ run" (as we call it), then we always have at least one or two back up items just in case they're out of something!  Pretty sad, right?  We're just waiting for the day when they tell us they are out of ice cream!  :)

So, if you and your family are really needing some entertainment, feel free to come by our local Dairy Queen!  I promise it will be better than the local demolition derby!  And, if you're lucky, you'll get to meet several of my former students.  Apparently, there is a requirement to have had Mrs. Binning as your English teacher in order to work there.  LOL!  (No comments, please!) 

Hope you've all enjoyed your weekend/spring break!  And just remember, that life is such a beautiful ride.  Enjoy it and God bless!



Crystal